Today is the 19th March 2012.

A huge wave of emotions hit me recently, or rather just days ago. The song above made me realized how much things I've been holding on to. Those are memories I've never forget because i simply can't. I've been hiding them, burying them every once in a while when they float up to the surface.

It's hard to let go. Every single inch.

I know it's bad for me and it gets everybody worried and sad, that's why I've chose to be what I've become today.

This day I live, is not what i asked for, neither is it what I didn't want.

Is this a lie I'm living in? Or I'm here to learn how to do the right things instead of the wanted things . . . or this is actually what i used to wish for and now I'm regretting.

Huge huge confusion.

They say men get troubled for women a lot, but they haven't told stories about women getting vexed over men, not for understanding men actually, but for who is playing or who is here to stay.

Now that I'm out of reach for alcohol, my stress level is increasing every time i get thinking over these things. How am i ever gonna find another hobby to relieve my mental stress.

I'm still searching for people involved in the days that taught me to grow up, but even till then, I'll have to consider seriously if keeping in contact is necessary.

Chantel? Or Jie Min?